1.Hurt Feelings
Some people say that rappers don't have feelings
We have feelings, we have feelings
Some people say that we are not rappers
We're rappers
That hurts our feelings
Hurts our feelings when you say we're not rappers
Some people say that rappers are invincible
We're vincible, we're vincible
What you are about to hear are true stories
Real experiences, autobiographical raps
Things that happened to us, all true
Bring the rhyme
I make a meal for my friends, try to make it delicious
Try to keep it nutritious, create wonderful dishes
Not one of them thinks about the way I feel
Nobody compliments the meal
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I feel like a prized asshole,
no one even mentions my casserole
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
You could've said something nice about my profiteroles
Here's a little story to bring a tear to your eye
I was shopping for a wetsuit to scuba dive
But every suit I tried is too big around the thighs
And the assistant suggested I try a ladies' size
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
I'm not gonna wear a ladies' wetsuit I'm a man
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
Get me a small man's wetsuit please
It's my birthday 2003, waitin' for a call from my family
They forgot about me
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
The day after my birthday is not my birthday, mum
I call my friends and say let's go into town
But they're all too busy to go into town
So I go by myself, I go into town
Then I see all my friends they're all in town
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings
They're all lined up to watch
that movie ' Maid in Manhattan'
Have you even been told that your ass is too big？
Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig？
Have you ever been told you're mediocre in bed？
Have you ever been told you've got a weird shaped head？
Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away？
Once again, they forgot about J
Were you ever called homo 'cause at school you took drama？
Have you ever been told that you look like a llama？
Tears of a rapper, tears of a rapper
I'm crying tears of a rapper, tears of a rapper
2.Sugalumps
Let me tell you...
I see you girls checkin' out my trunks
I see you girls checkin' out the front of my trunks
I see you girls lookin' at my junk
Then checkin' out my rump
Then back to my sugalumps
When I shake it, I shake it all up
You'd probably think that my pants had the mumps
It's just my sugalump bump-ba-bump
They look so good, that's why I keep them in the front
All the ladies checkin' out my sugalumps
They drive the ladies crazy
All these bitches checkin' out my britches
Put 'em in a trance when I wear track pants
My dungarees make them hungry
They're over the moon when I don pantaloons
My sugalumps are two of a kind
Sweet and white and highly refined
Honeys try all kinds of tomfoolery
To steal a feel of my family jewellery
My candy balls cause a cafuffle
The ladies, they hussle to ruffle my truffle
If you party with the party prince
You get two complimentary after dinner mints
Girls surround me when I'm standin' on the stoop
Givin' me gifts like free chicken soup
Book tokens, free chicken stoop
Standin' on the corner goin' ss-ah-ss-ah
We see you girls checkin' out our trunks
We see you girls checkin' out the front of our trunks
We see you girls lookin' at our junk
Then checkin' out our rumps
Then back to our sugalumps
Chillin' in my store, doing my thing
When in walks a guy with his dick in a sling
I'm like, 'holy shit, what happened to you？'
He said, 'how much will you give me
for the family jewels？'
I said, 'ten bucks'
He said, 'no way'
'Ten bucks and frisbee？'
He said, 'okay'
And I took his sugalumps and put them up in a display
And sold them as hacky sacks later that day
All the ladies, they want a taste of my sugalumps
Sweet sugalumps
All the ladies, they want a taste of my sugalumps
Sweet sugalumps, yeah
3.We're Both In Love With A Sexy Lady
Bret：I think I've fallen in love
with a girl and i'm serious.
Jemaine：Oh, that's great news Bret,
tell me 'bout that girl that's so serious.
Bret：Well I don't really know her.
Jemaine： Oh, that don't sound so serious.
Bret： We're serious, I'm delirious.
Jemaine： Sounds serious.
Bret： Yeah.
Jemaine： That's cool. I met a new girl too.
Bret： Have you？
Jemaine： Yeah.
Bret： One of those girls you met on the net？
Jemaine： No, we really met.
Bret： Well, that's great news.
What's she like？ What does she do？
Jemaine： All I know, dawg is that
she's careless with her dog.
Jemaine： I'm not sure what she does,
cept she makes me want her.
She makes me wanna get on top of her.
Bret： Oh, that sounds great, man.
That sounds great hey... Wait!
Jemaine： What？
Bret： Maybe I'm crazy but
when did you meet this lady？
Jemaine： Just then.
Bret： When？
Jemaine： Then.
Bret： Right then？
Jemaine： Right then.
Bret： Where？
Jemaine： Here.
Bret： Over there？
Jemaine： Over there.
Bret： Over there, there？
Jemaine： Over there, there, there!
Bret： Just now？
Jemaine： Just now.
Bret／Jermaine： How'd you meet your lady？
Bret： I was going for a jog and she'd lost a dog.
Jemaine： I was running in the area
and she'd lost a terrier.
Bret： Was this about 20 seconds ago？
Jemaine： No, about 23 seconds ago.
Bret／Jermaine： Oh, oh, oh, oh, no,
oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, no no
Jemaine： What？
Bret： Are you thinking what I'm thinking？
Jemaine： No, I'm thinking what I'm thinking.
Bret： So you're not thinking what I'm thinking？
Jemaine： No, cause you're thinking
I'm thinking what you're thinking!
Bret： Are you talking about
a girl with a beautiful smile？
Jemaine： Yeah!
Bret： Like strawberry wild？
Jemaine： Yeah! Yeah!
Bret： Blueberry track suit pants？
Jemaine： White chocolate skin!
Bret： And socks？
Jemaine： That sounds like her!
Bret： Hang on a minute... Stop the track.
Eugene, stop the track!
Bret： Do you mean the girl who came up to us
when we were running in the park just now
And she was looking for her epileptic dog？
Jemaine： Yeah, that's the girl!
Bret： Was her name Brahbrah？
Jemaine： No, I think it was Barbara.
Bret： Her name was Brahbrah.
Jemaine： It's was Barbara.
There's no such name as Brahbrah.
Bret： It's Brahbrah.
Jemaine： It's Barbara.
Bret： It was Brahbrah.
Jemaine： Barbara.
Bret： Brahbrah.
Jemaine： Barbara.
Bret： Brahbrah.
Jemaine： Barbara.
Bret： Brahbrah.
Jemaine： Bret, she was looking at me.
Bret： No, she was looking at me.
Jemaine： Bret, she was looking at me,
she had her eye on my knee.
Bret： Dawg, I'm sorry she had her eye on my guns.
Jemaine： Oh you loco she was checking out my buns.
Bret： No bro, she had an eye on me.
Jemaine： She had an eye on me.
Bret： Well how could she have a eye on both of us？
Wait a minute, you talking about a girl
with a lazy eye？
Jemaine： I think she might had a slightly lazy eye!
Bret／Jermaine：We're both in love with a sexy lady
with a eye that's lazy
the girl goes fly
With the wonky eye,
she's smokin'
with the another's broken
I think is hot.
The way she looks left a lot
Bret： Yeah
Jemaine： Yeah
Bret： Yeah
Jemaine： Yeah
Bret／Jermaine：We're both in love with a sexy lady
with a eye that's lazy
the girl goes fly
With the wonky eye,
she's smokin'
with the another's broken
I think is hot.
The way she looks left a lot
Bret： Yeah
Jemaine： Yeah
Bret： Yeah
Jemaine： Yeah
4.I Told You I Was Freaky
Girl, I'm gonna take the month of August off
Just to get you off
I'm freaky
I'm gonna clear the table top
We're gonna need a mop
I'm Freaky
Let's take a photo of a goat in a boat
And then we can float in a moat and be freaky
Freak-ay
Let's take my body and we'll cover it with honey
Stick some money to the honey
Now I'm covered in money, honey
I go outside onto the ledge
and push my ass against the glass
You can act like you don't know me
I'll take a cup and then I'll put it on my head
And I'll just stand there bein' freaky
with a cup on my head
I told you I was freaky
(I told you I was freaky, baby)
You didn't believe me (Don't look at me)
I told you I was freaky (Hey look at me)
Girl, let's get freaky
Let's make two life size
cardboard cut outs of our bodies
And then pose them into sensual positions
I'll paint the wallpaper pattern
onto your naked skin
Stand against the wallpaper
and get up like chameleons
I flip some clips on my lips
I clip some chips to your hips
I nibble chips off your hips
And watch the moon eclipse
I'll go outside and get some leaves
and pretend to be a tree
You can be a squirrel and store my nuts for me
I told you I was freaky
(He told you he was freaky, baby)
You didn't believe me (Take that off)
I told you I was freaky (Put this on)
Girl, I do this shit weekly
......
Let's steal my roommate's pillow feathers
And make some homemade wings
Gonna fly so high with makeshift pillow wings
Girl, can you believe we're flyin'
with homemade pillow wings
Ahhh
Oww Ow
Oww Ow Oww
I told you I was freaky, baby
I told you I was freaky, baby
5.Demon Woman
Demon woman
Demon woman
Demon woman, your hair is like silk
But your curdling my milk
I know not of what ilk thou art
Demon woman
Woman demon
Demon woman, you sit on a rock
Looking nice in your frock
But your scaring my livestock
Demon woman
Woman demon
Demon woman, you're making me moan
Turn my bone into stone
And you're takin' me home
To meet your familiars
Nice to meet ya
You cast your spell
Very well
Demon woman
Demon woman
Woman demon
Demon woman, you cut puppies' toes off
Pull an animal's nose off
How'd you magic my clothes off？
Demon woman, take me back to your room
Make me howl at the moon
Make me pray to the temple of womb
Demon woman
Woman demon
Your breasts are balls of flame
And I'm burinin' my hands
Playing these ball games
Demon woman
Demon woman
Demon woman
Demon woman
Woman demon
Oh woman, ow ow ow
Oh woman, ow ow ow
Oh woman, ow ow ow
Oh...
6.Rambling Through The Avenues Of Time
i was wandering through the streets of the city
rambling through the avenues of time
when from nowhere my eyes fell onto a girl
and by chance her eyes fell onto mine
so i sat and acted all non-nonchalant
she smoked her lavender cigarette
reading the future that lay in my hands
my shadow played a bass clarinet
(where you going with this bret？)
we waltzed down a moonlight boulevard
just two silhouettes in the mist
(ah yes)
days went by and years went by
moments went by when we kissed
(when was this？)
she said your beard is woven of heartache
and we'll drink for the lonely tonight
and the moon is a horny old drunkard
(uh bret, could you please move over to your right？)
we drank dandelion wine and we reminisced
about the moment we first met that day
(i'm trying to watch tv)
then we reminisced about how we first reminisced
(oh yeah？ sounds a bit gay)
she handed me a broken memory
a keepsake to forever most say？
a brief taste of love is as sweet as any
and with that she made her way
(oh yeah？ what was her name？)
she said her name was a secret
then she said her name was cherie
(was her middle name cherie
so it's a secret cherie maybe？)
mm, maybe
(what'd she look like？)
she looked like a parisian river
(what dirty？)
she looked like a chocolate eclair
(that's rare)
her eyes were reflections of eyes
(oh nice)
and the rainbows danced in her hair
(aw yeah)
she reminded me of winter's morning
(what frigid？)
her perfume as eau de toilette
(what's that mean？)
she was comparable to cleopatra
(quite old)
she's like shakespeare's juliette
(what thirteen？)
the bohemians of soho did pirouettes
as we waltzed through the streets of manhattan
on rivers of ribbon and sailboats of song
there's a girl i described
she's as real as the wind
it's true i saw her today
the other details are inventions
because i prefer her that way.
7.Fashion Is Danger
Fashion
Fa-fa-fa-faashion
St-st-style
Lo-lo-lo-lo-look look look
I'm the edge, I'm the chic, I'm the taste,
I'm larger than life with just a hint of lace
I'm the vanguard, I'm the air, I'm the vogue
I'm the shi-shi, ooh oui-i, I'm the man a la mode
P-p-p-p-p-president Reagan
Thatcher Th-Th-Thatcher
Jazzercise!
L-L-L-Lipgloss,
Ooh-ooh-ooh!
You think you know fashion
Well, fashion's a stranger
You think fashion's your friend
My friend, fashion is danger
Posing,
Posing at the bar
Posing,
Posing sitting down
Posing,
Posing in the distance
Posing,
Posing with my arm
Posing,
Posing with my leg
Posing,
Posing like a swan
Posing,
Posing for a portrait
Posing a threat
Hey hey-hey-hey
hey yeah
You think you know fashion
Well, fashion's a stranger
You think fashion's your friend
My friend, fashion is danger
Moscow, Berlin, Paris, London
Tokyo, Wellington, Rome, Geneva
New York City
New-New-New-New York City
You think you know fashion
Well, fashion's a stranger
You think fashion's your friend
My friend, fashion is danger
Fashion
Fa-fa-fa-faashion
8.Petrov,Yelyena And Me
Petrov, Yelyena, and me.
Lost, but happy, at sea
Petrov and Yelyena said to me
'Shouldn't we have something to eat？'
Well, I say 'There are plenty of fish in the sea'
But all they can see... is me.
They say, 'Any last requests？'
Biding my time, I say 'Yes.
I want to party, just we three.
Lost, but happy at sea.'
So we drank all night from the keg
I passed out, then awoke with one leg
I said, 'Petrov, have you seen my leg？'
He said 'No' and he went back to bed....
But he looked suspiciously well fed.
Three days later they were hungry again
They said, 'Any last requests, again, my friend？'
I said, 'Do you know any Rolling Stones？
'It was a hilarious hilarious moment
in a very bleak bleak time of my life.'
So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones,
when I awoke they were chewing on bones.
Yelyena was supping blood from a cup,
that's when I knew something was up.
'Hey Petrov？'
'What is that you're eating？'
'How come it looks so much like my arm？'
which haveabeen hacked off at the elbow last night.
'It's .... fish.'
...
Late that night, while they were asleep,
I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat
I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet...
Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat.
When I awoke, they were already dead
All that was left of me was my head...
No, not dead, just a head.
Lost, but lonely, at sea.
9.Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Going to the party,
Sippin' on Bacardi.
Wanna meet a hottie,
But there's Adam, Steve and Marty.
There's Billy, Todd and Tommy,
They're on leave from the army.
The only boobs I'll see
tonight will be made of origami.
Tell the players, make it understood.
It ain't no good if there's too much wood.
Make sure you know before you go,
The dance floor bro-hoe ratio.
Five to one is a brodeo,
Tell Steve and Mike it's time to go.
Wait outside all night to find,
Twenty dudes in a conga line.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Easy to fix.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Spread out the dicks.)
Too many dudes,
With too many dicks,
Too close to my shit,
Too hard to meet chicks.
I need better odds,
More broads, less rods.
I came to do battle...
Scadaddle with the cattle prods.
Too many men,
Too many boys,
Too many misters,
Not enough sisters.
Too much time on, too many hands...
Not enough ladies, too many mans.
Not enough ladies, too many mans.
Not enough ladies, too many mans.
too many mans, too many mans.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
Too many dicks,
Too many dongs.
Too many schlongs,
Now sing this song.
Too many dicks --- on the dance floor.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
(Too many dicks.)
Too many dicks on the dance floor.
10.You Don't Have To Be A Prostitute
It's a cold night beneath the street lights
There's a man whose pants are too tight
Oh no, his pants are too tight
My pants are too tight
He stands there, an empty stare
Tryin' to make enough money for his cab fare home
He'll have to walk home tonight
Don't have enough for the ride
The streets are cruel, he doesn't act cool
He goes to work with only his one tool
You can put away your tool
Jemaine...
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being a man-ho - a male gigolo!
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being night-looker,
boy-hooker, rent boy, bro-ho
He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
Male prostitution seems to be my only option
He can't see his way out
I cannot see my way out
He can't see his way out
No, no, no, no!
He's selling cheap thrills to pay expensive bills
But check your resume,
you must have some other skills
Do you have any other skills？
Like typing!
They see him, want him to please them
Want him to play them but they don't even pay him
Oh no, they don't think he's worth it at all...
Though they are no one, he tries to bring them home
Maybe it'd be okay if he lived alone
You have a roommate, Jemaine
Don't bring them home!
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being a man-ho - a male gigolo!
You don't have to be a prostitute (no, no, no, no)
You can say no to being night-looker,
boy-hooker, rent boy, bro-ho
11.Friends
Friends sing together
Friends do things together
Friends laugh together
Friends make graphs together
Friends help you when you're in danger
Friends are people who are not strangers
Friends help you shift into a new place
And tell you if you've got food on your face
Friends are the ones on who you can depend
He's my friend, he's not my friend
Friends are the ones who are there in the end
He's my friend, they're not my friends
If you trip over I'll catch your fall
If you kick my dick I won't break your balls
If you get drunk and vomit on me
I'll make sure you get home safely
If you crossed the road and a truck struck you
I'll scrape you up and reconstruct you
I'll cheer you up if you're depressed
If you get murdered I'll avenge your death
Friends walk together
Pop and lock together
Me and him together
Me and Jim forever
Friends go jogging at the track
Friends borrow money, never pay you back
Friends do not let friends do crack
Friends go out and grab a snack
Friends drink beer in the sun
Unlike girlfriends they don't mind
Unlike girlfriends they don't mind
if you have more than one
if you have more than one
Friends tell you when your fly's undone
Murray, your fly's undone
My Uncle John had a special friend
They dressed alike, his name was Ben
I've never seen two friends like them
They were very very friendly men
Friends, friends, friends...
12.Carol Brown
Loretta broke my heart in a letter
She told me she was leaving
and her life would better
Joan broke it off over the phone
After the tone, she left me alone
Jen said she'd never, ever see me again
When I saw her again, she said it again
Jan met another man
Lisa got amnesia, just forgot who I am
Felicity, said there was no electricity
Emily, no chemistry
Fran ran, Bruce turned out to be a man
Flo had to go, I couldn't go with the flow
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
But I'm hoping that you'll stick around
He doesn't cook or clean,
he's not good boyfriend material
We can eat cereal!
He loses interest fast,
his relationships never last
Shut up, girlfriends from the past!
He says he'll do one thing
and then he goes and does another thing
Who organised all of my ex-girlfriends
into a choir and got them to sing？
Who, who？ Mmm, shut up
Shut up girlfriends from the past
Mimi will no longer see me
Britney, Britney hit me
Paula, Persephone, Stella and Stephanie
There must be fifty ways that lovers have left me
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
Love is a delicate thing,
it could just float away on the breeze
He said the same thing to me!
How can we ever know we've found
the right person in this world？
He means he looks at other girls!
Love is a mystery, it does not follow a rule
This guy is a fool!
He'll always be a boy,
he's a man who never grew up
I thought I told you to shut up
Mona, you told me you were in a coma
Tiffany, you said that you had an epiphany
Would you like a little cereal？
Who organised this choir of ex-girlfriends？
Was it you Carol Brown？
Was it you Carol Brown？
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
But I'm hoping that you'll stick around
Stick around
Stick around
Stick around
Stick around
13.Angels
there are angels in the clouds
doin' it
there are angels
doin' it doin' it doin' it doin' it
doin' it doin' it doin' it
in the clouds
behind the shroud of the clouds
foolin' 'round
in the clouds they're lying
feathers flyin'
angels sighin'
there are angels
nobody knows what goes on under those robes
pushin' and puffin' and huffin'
and heavin' in heaven
(pushin' and puffin' and huffin' and heavin' in heaven)
up there they're playing the lovin' game
makin' rain
turning white clouds gray
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
doin' it
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